Stoics Crash My Pity Party

The Stoics crashed my pity party in December. Again! I had just received my x-rays and was stunned. I was expecting change given the new pain I was experiencing with certain movements, but not this level of change or severity in less than two years.

At first, my logical self responded. I would restart my protective habits. (I had lapsed for a year after quitting my rehab muscle-building classes due to schedule conflicts.) I would investigate my options and make a plan. I wasn't happy, but I was OK.

Then came the wave of fears and tears as I told one of my sisters. Fear of being in near-constant pain. Fear for my prospects of living an active life as I grew older. And what about my ideal future with more travel? (No saddle-stool seat options on airplanes! 🥺). Words like crippled, fragile, and needy kept creeping in. Full-on pity party.

Later that evening, the Stoics came to my rescue! These ancient Greek and Roman philosophers are not all as austere as many think. They're actually quite uplifting, with much pragmatic advice for finding equanimity and joy in life - whatever our challenges.

I could hear them saying… Think how many people would welcome your situation? You are informed about the special muscle-training needs of post-menopause women. You have Coach Pei AND access to three medical experts - an orthopedic surgeon, a physiotherapist specializing in this condition, AND an amazing TCM practitioner from China. Remember how her acupuncture treatments made it possible for you to drive without pain when rehab exercises were not enough? AND it appears you are surprisingly flexible despite the severity ranking of your condition. Imagine where you might be were it not for some good genes and your decades of training with Coach Pei.

Tears, fear, and anger dissolved. Back to the present. This is the body I now inhabit. I am taking William Irvine’s Stoic advice to heart. It's time to “do what I can with what I've got.”

I have no doubt energy- and mood-sapping thoughts will hijack my mind from time to time. And the Stoics will interrupt another pity party. And I'm OK with that. I'm playing the long game - one day at a time. Going small but steady, stacking many small wins to build my optimal resilience.

Wishing you all well.

Janice

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PS

I recommend letting the Stoics into your party if you resonate with this story! Below are two favorite resources for putting Stoic insights into practical practice.

Resources

William B. Irvine - Professor of Philosophy and author. Irvine has a gift for translating the ancients’ philosophy into engaging, practical insights and tips for living life with more joy.

Donald Robertson - Cognitive behavioral therapist and author on Stoicism. Robertson has a gift for integrating the best of Stoic philosophy with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Recommended Starting Points

Hidden Brain podcast  - Minimizing Pain, Maximizing Joy. An engaging interview with William Irvine, ideal for understanding the core principles and practical techniques for applying Stoic philosophy to difficult situations.

Waking Up App by Sam Harris (Life section) - For subscribers (or via a 30-day trial).

“The Stoic Path” series by Irvine

“Mindful Stoicism” series by Robertson

Or explore Conversations for their discussions with Sam Harris.